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Case Study 774
I wrote on here 6 months ago, when I was in the grip of my depression. I would love to give you all hope and say hey, look, it's gone, I'm all better!! but sadly that hasn't happened yet. But I do feel a change, the heaviness in my chest is lighter, the emptiness is still there, but not as all consuming. The detachment is still there, but the glass is clear now, not frosted.The tears are drying, I pick the phone up when it rings, I sometimes sing to myself again, I have started reading the paper, and I am back at work after 5 months off. I can't say it's easy, and sometimes I feel like I am kidding myself that I feel a change, asit is so slight. After 7 months of severe clinical depression I am also scared to imagine that maybe everyone was right, maybe it does get better, maybe in time it will pass?
This has been the worst experience of my life, ever. It is frightening how ill depression makes a person feel, and I still feel devastated at the impact it has had on my life. The worst part is the lack of emotion, but it is coming back, slowly, pin pricks, slowly I feel that maybe one day I will 'feel' again. Maybe I am feeling a tiny little bit positive that my life isn't over, maybe there is a chance?
This website has been a lifeline for me, I have emailed people who left messages on here, and got responses back from people who are now well and happy. Isn't that heart warming? I have also been able to help people who are where I was in January, reeling from the fear that they have gone nuts (sorry but we all think it right?).
Who knows what will happen? It is far from over, I know that, and the road is a long one, but although I feel detached, empty and ill, I also feel that maybe the light is there somewhere? for all of us.
Lorn xx
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