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Case Study 809
Depression is a right pain, I have suffered with it for about 6 years and had some several serious bouts-all with varying degrees of suicidal thoughts and attempts. basically I just cut myself off completely bury my head in the sand and hope it goes until I have the courage to go to the doctor which by then ive managed to muck everything up. My brain gets scrambled and confidence seems to go immediately, I walk out on jobs and just cant get any words into my head that make any sense.I just feel like hitting a wall, knowing what it does to loved ones is the worst.It seems like they expect me to get better at 100 mph and constantly on my back about what to do, half get what its about so push for the doctors, job centre and contact with them. The others assume its a condition for lazyness so tell me point blank to go and get a job. All of it increases anxiety ten-fold so I dont talk to them staying in the house avoiding everyone.Without depression I am bubby and a bit scatty so people know instantly something is wrong when im suffering. Im so embarassed by being stopped and having nothing to say just want to run home and cry in my bed. All I think is how ill they must think of me hating the thought of how they will react if and when I recover. Does anyone else feel this way? If by way of a recluse is the only way I can live there really is no point.
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